


The Jingle Bells Don't Stop!

by FallacyFallacy



Series: The Annual Christmas Carol Fic [8]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Autistic Hanazono Tae, Character Development, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 09:38:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17118896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallacyFallacy/pseuds/FallacyFallacy
Summary: Tae and Saya celebrate their first Christmas together as girlfriends, as only they could.





	The Jingle Bells Don't Stop!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, my annual Christmas fic is titled after a carol. And since this is an idol fandom, well... but Our Christmas Song would've been a bit _too_ obvious. :P
> 
> [And if you want to get the full fic experience I highly recommend you listen to this as you read!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRA-ON-BIGQ)

Saya frets.

She likes this skirt – it’s long enough to be appropriate for the weather, and it’s in a colour that suits her perfectly, but it just… doesn’t feel exciting enough, somehow. On the other hand, she could wear this other dress she used in a Christmas shoot recently, but it’s borderline costume, and she highly doubts Tae will wear anything similar so she’d really stand out.

This top is really nice, but the neckline is right where that necklace hangs, and it’s just _so nice_ and _so fitting_ she can’t _not_ wear it. This other shirt is better, even if it’s a bit light, but what would she pair with it? Jeans? And what earrings should she wear? Something big and bold, or subtle? The most Christmassy pair she has are pretty goofy-looking, which is cute, but not really date material.

And then there’s her hair. In her first year of high school, the ponytail had seemed mature and sophisticated, but a year later, she’s not so sure. Would she seem more grown-up if she left if loose? But then she checks the weather on her phone, and sure enough, it’ll be windy tonight. She’d never put up with loose hair under those conditions.

Maybe she should cut it. At least that’d be one less thing to worry about.

She sits on her bed, frowning. She’s being, she knows, unreasonable. Tae will think she looks good no matter what she wears. Every date they’ve ever had, she’s never failed to greet her with a compliment on her looks, which is so clearly rote, but it genuinely makes Saya weak at the knees knowing how Tae goes out of her way to look up how to be a good girlfriend. (Either that, or Arisa tells her, which is just as cute in a different way.)

But… Saya picks at her bedspread. She wants to look _good._ That’s _her_ role as a girlfriend, at least. And even if Tae couldn’t tell one shirt from another, the overall image will be different. Saya wants to be pretty. 

Because it’s Christmas. And she and Tae are lovers.

She swallows, trying to calm her racing mind. She can do this. How many other girls have been in her position before, worrying over what to wear for a date? The thought strengthens her. This is for Tae, and for Tae, she’ll do anything.

There’s a bang at her bedroom door. “Neechan! Jun stole my toy!” _“No I didn’t it’s my turn to play with it!”_

...right after this, anyway.

*

“Merry Christmas, Saya!”

Tae doesn’t waste a moment, speaking as soon as Saya opens the door, smiling there on the doorstep.

“Merry Christmas!” Saya replies just as brightly.

Tae’s wearing pants today, but they’re form-fitting and look tailored. Beneath a scarf, Saya can see a little sliver of skin where the shirt is just barely unbuttoned. Saya swallows; it’s not what she’d wear, ever, but she kind of likes it when Tae dresses a bit more boyishly. It makes her feel girlier.

“Wow,” Tae says, and her expression doesn’t really change much, but Saya can tell that she means it. “You look really, really good today.”

“Thanks!” Saya ducks her head. It’s a totally different beast, interacting with Tae compared to Arisa or Rimi. She doesn’t always seem to express things in the expected way, but she’s always honest with her words, and Saya has learned to trust them. “You look really good, too!”

“Thanks.” Tae’s hand reaches forward. “I like the earrings.” Bells – because what is Christmas without a little whimsy? “And the material of your dress looks really nice.”

Saya brightens. “I thought you’d think so!” She turns her shoulder towards Tae. “It’s nice and velvety, see?”

Tae cups her shoulder, thumb almost at Saya’s collarbone. It makes Saya shiver, seeing the intensity in her eyes, wondering how it’d feel if Tae’s hands drifted lower…

“It’s so soft,” Tae breathes.

Saya swallows.

“Haha, I could just touch this all day!” Her fingertips tickle, pads warm even through the thick clothing.

“W-well!” Saya forces out a laugh, uncharacteristically flustered. “We can’t actually, though. We have a date to go on!”

“Yes, we do,” Tae says, withdrawing her hand, and she actually seems a little disappointed.

Saya snorts, getting her breathing back in check, and links her arm with Tae’s. “C’mon – I’m sure you have plenty planned for us.”

“I do,” Tae agrees, as they begin to walk.

The shopping district really is gorgeous during Christmas. It’s so strange to think now that back when Saya was a kid, nobody really thought of the holiday as anything but a foreign novelty. But today, the narrow streets burst with light, tinsel and golden baubles shimmering down from roofs and streetlamps. Glance aside into the windows and you’ll see displays piled up with baked goods and toy soldiers, joyously decorated Christmas trees winking through open doors. And from all angles, Santa Claus himself smiles down, as though he really can see every child’s good deed.

Saya can’t help taking notes – ah, how the colour contrast works in that shopfont! Oh, how that store has used its old-fashioned architecture to its advantage! - but thinking up new plans for the bakery only makes it even more fun.

“So, where are we going?”

“Well, it’s Christmas, after all. There’s only one thing to do.”

Saya grins. “We’re getting something to eat?”

Tae sighs, like she’s already imagining the feast awaiting her. “Of course.”

Saya clings closer to her arm. “I can’t wait!”

They don’t talk for a while, enjoying the spectacle that is the city at Christmastime. Sometimes people seem to glance their way and Saya blushes, still not sure how she feels about it. It’s Christmas, so surely they must look like a couple, but so far she’s found herself able to be far more affectionate than she ever would have imagined without anyone seeing it as strange.

Then again, between Kasumi and Hagumi and plenty more, she knows plenty of girls who are just kind of clingy in general. Maybe she just feels like it’s unusual because it’s _her_.

She’d kind of had in mind a fancy restaurant, which is pretty silly given that they’re both still high schoolers and neither of them are rich. But the place they end up at is cosy in its own way – and Tae didn’t just take her to a fried chicken place, which she definitely would have done when they first started dating, so Saya is genuinely impressed.

“This place looks nice!”

“It has really good reviews,” Tae says. “The food is meant to be really good, and a lot of people say it has a romantic atmosphere.”

It does – the ceiling is low, the tables are almost all for pairs, and quite a few of those pairs are quite obviously flirting with one another.

“It’s perfect,” Saya says.

“Phew,” Tae says, and Saya laughs.

Once they sit down, Tae knows what she wants immediately – turkey.

“Of course they have it,” Saya notes dryly.

“I wouldn’t take you somewhere without it,” Tae says seriously. “I was only able to get chicken last year. I’m not making that mistake again.”

“Most Japanese would be happy with chicken.” She herself looks over the menu. Is there such a thing as a romantic meal? That’d be… oysters, maybe? But as sophisticated as that sounds, the cafe isn’t selling them. Also it sounds kind of gross. Maybe spaghetti? Like in the movie with the dogs? But she doesn’t want to get sauce all over her dress…

“If you can’t decide, I recommend the turkey.”

Saya laughs and closes her menu. “No, I’ll just go with the chicken, I think.” It’s more familiar – and noticeably cheaper.

“If you insist.” Tae also orders juice; Saya, hot chocolate.

“It’s kind of funny, really,” Saya says when the waiter leaves. “You love rabbits so much, but you yourself are a complete carnivore.”

“Well, maybe that’s how it works,” Tae reasons in between sips. “I eat all the delicious meat, and they get the left-over vegetables.”

“You should eat your vegetables, though,” Saya says, only noticing after the fact that she spoke that in her Big Sister Tone. “They’re good for your health.”

“Yes, darling,” Tae replies, making Saya smile. “I do eat them, though. You know me – unless it’s something really weird, I’ll eat it.”

Saya thinks it over. “You don’t tend to eat many sweets. I don’t see you getting much from the bakery. But maybe I’m just comparing you to Moca. Which is never fair, really.”

“I like sweets. I just like meat more.”

The couple at Saya’s left are silent, staring into one another’s eyes with almost discomforting intensity. The window is to her right, but they’re not up against it – she can’t see through to the street without looking past another couple, who are holding hands on the table. She didn’t think Japanese couples tended to be so forward in public, but Christmas never used to be a couple’s holiday anyway, either.

Tae is twisting her straw back and forth, strangely enthralled. They probably don’t look much like a couple right now.

When the meal comes, Tae digs in immediately, letting out the most emotion Saya’s seen all night when she groans at her first bite.

“Turkey is really so much better than chicken,” she murmurs as she pours a veritably flood of gravy over her plate.

Saya nibbles at her chicken. It’s nice, and it feels Christmassy. But she kind of wants to do more.

She cuts a piece carefully, making sure the size is right. She skewers it cleanly, taking just a moment to collect herself before she acts.

She raises the fork. “Want to try some?”

Tae raises her eyebrows. “I prefer my turkey, actually,” she says, and takes another mouthful.

Saya doesn’t move. That’s okay – Tae requires communication that’s a bit more direct, at times.

“I – I actually wouldn’t mind feeding you, actually,” she says, surprised again at her nervous tone.

“Oh!” Tae drops her fork immediately, wiping off her mouth with a napkin. “Right! Yes, I’ll do that.”

She leans forward, a little jerkily – and then, as though she’s remembering that atmosphere is important to romance, pauses to smile at Saya before she takes the chicken.

Saya’s chest thuds as she eats. It’s not that they haven’t kissed. They have – once. Or maybe more than once, but she’s not sure if she should count the time she tried to kiss Tae but her girlfriend didn’t seem to realise she was going to and moved at the last minute so she only kind of got the corner of her mouth. Still: an indirect kiss feels meaningful. The prongs on her fork seem tantalising, now.

“Right, and now I should do you, too,” Tae says once she’s swallowed, quickly carving a piece. “Here!” she says, thrusting it in Saya’s direction-

-sending a big glob of gravy straight onto Saya’s lap.

Saya gasps, trying not to move for a moment.

“Oh, no,” Tae says, dropping her fork onto the tablecloth, staining it as well as she grabs for a napkin. “And that’s such a nice dress – I hope it’ll be fine!”

“It should be,” Saya murmurs, taking the napkin and delicately dabbing at the brown spot at her thigh. “Ah, waiter? Could we…?”

They don’t quite manage to get the stain out completely, but after some help, they’re able to get it down to only a slight discoloration. Still, the hubbub attracts the attention of the other diners, and Saya can’t help but feel a little guilty for damaging the mood of the place.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Tae says as they leave. It’s colder now and Saya takes out her gloves, wiggling her fingers to warm them before sliding them in.

“It’s nothing – it wouldn’t be a Christmas meal without gravy, and that’s always a risk with it.”

“Still. It’s so strange. Playing the guitar feels like second nature to me, so my hands shouldn’t be so clumsy...”

Saya giggles. “I think if you tried to hold a fork like playing a guitar, you’d definitely drop it.”

“Maybe,” Tae agrees.

“Besides, I’m used to it. My siblings are way messier than you could ever be.”

“That’s good, then.”

Saya can hear the strains of White Christmas coming from somewhere, and combined with the darkening sky, she’s feeling very sentimental. She takes Tae’s hand and grasps it tightly.

“So,” she murmurs. “Where to next?”

Tae follows suit, speaking softly. She says: “how about to my place?”

For a moment, Saya’s heart stops.

It’s not like it’s an unusual thing for one half of a couple to say. It’s Christmas, and it’s the evening, and they’ve been dating for a few months already, so if anything, it’d be stranger if she said anything different. So why does Saya feel so incredibly flustered?

She’s not sure what to expect. Does Tae want to take things further? They’ve kissed before, but only briefly… She’s wondered what it’d be like, to linger there longer. And then there was the way Tae had touched her shoulder before – what if Tae had been thinking the same thing, that she wouldn’t mind if that hand could wander a bit further…?

No, no! Saya mentally shakes her head. Tae probably only wants to walk her to the door and kiss her, or something – she’s quite the gentleman. Gentlewoman. Whatever.

But… when she thinks about it, they’re both sixteen. In fact, Tae just turned seventeen the other week. Why shouldn’t they do something like that? They’re not children anymore. Who’s going to stop them?

But, but! They’re in a band. Poppin’ Party is trying to known across Japan. Even if they’re not idols, and even if they’re not yet as much in the spotlight as Pastel Palettes or Roselia, they still have an audience. Have _fans._ Isn’t she supposed to… remain chaste?

...assuming she could ever tell anyone about this, anyway. Assuming that dating someone – dating a girl – wouldn’t be a big deal itself.

“Saya?” Tae whispers, right near her ear.

“A-ah! Well!” Saya coughs, removing her hand from Tae’s to cover her mouth. “Er – just to be clear, what were you expecting to do there?”

Tae responds immediately. “Well, listen to music, for one thing – maybe even make some with you, if you’d like, though you’d have to use a different drum kit than usual. But mainly...” Tae smiles. “I thought it’d be nice to hang out with the bunnies for a while, don’t you?”

Saya stares.

“You… you want to play with the rabbits.”

“Yes.” Tae nods firmly. “Saya, bunnies, music, and Christmas – I can’t imagine a better group of things, all at once!”

Saya looks at her, unblinking. And then she snorts, and then laughs aloud.

“Did I say something funny?” Tae asks sincerely.

“Oh, no, it’s just… my imagination got ahead of me.” Saya shakes her head. “Sorry, I’d love to see the rabbits.”

“What do you mean, your imagination?”

“Oh, er...” Saya blushes again, averting her gaze. She’s not used to being the flustered one, but someone has to be, and it’d take more than Saya knows to fluster Tae. “I just...”

Tae waits for an answer. But Saya doesn’t know how to give it without seeming ungrateful.

“It’s really nothing. I was just expecting something different. C’mon, let’s-”

“I think you’re lying to me.”

Once again, Saya is stopped short.

Tae has gone blank, which is always a little scary, but Saya knows that it doesn’t mean she’s not feeling anything – quite the opposite, this is what happens when Tae is so distracted she forgets to make the normal motions.

“I honestly don’t know what else we could be doing tonight,” Tae says. “And I think I might be misinterpreting you, since I often do, but it sounds as though you were disappointed.”

“I...”

“I know I’m not the kind of person who reads social situations well, and I’m not good at showing the right emotions. That never used to really bother me. But as far as I can tell, romantic relationships are like friendships, except you have to do certain special things and react in certain special ways. Which makes me feel like sometimes I’m not a very good girlfriend, because that all doesn’t come naturally to me the way it does to you.”

She’s so honest, it breaks Saya’s heart.

“I thought...” Saya sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. She needs to do this properly. “I thought maybe you wanted to kiss. Or maybe...go further than that. And, uh, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it all, especially when I thought about how we’re in a band and we do have certain responsibilities to our fans, but it’s kind of irrational for me to worry about that _now_ after we’ve been dating for so long. And it’s unfair to you to be second-guessing all of this. So… in a way, I really was relieved when you said you just wanted to play with the bunnies.”

“Oh...” Tae frowns. “Didn’t you think about all that before we started dating?”

“I did! But...” Saya wrings her hands. “I just… I’m never sure of what I’m meant to be doing.” Before she knows it, she can’t stop the words from coming out. “I joined up with CHiSPA because they needed a drummer and I could do that and it felt nice to be involved, but I ended up neglecting my other responsibilities, and while they could get a new drummer, the Yamabuki family couldn’t get a new eldest daughter. But then there was Poppin’ Party, and I’ve really felt like that’s been going well, and it’s been good for me, too, and… and then I started to fall for you.”

She’s so gorgeous, Tae. She knows that to others – to their fans – she looks like a cool, elegant beauty. But Tae isn’t like that at all. She’s playful, and funny, and creative, and so kind, and she does and feels all of those things so effortlessly.

“I just… I love being with you,” Saya says softly, as earnest as she’s ever felt. “You know exactly what you want, and you go after it without a second thought. I… wanted to grasp at some of that, just a little. When I’m with you… I feel like I can be that person.”

Tae looks back at her. In the light, her eyes gleam gold, sparkling against the evening glow.

“So, what do you want to do? Right now.”

Saya bites her lip.

“I...”

She likes Tae’s rabbits. And she’d like to kiss her. And she’d like to practise more – working with another drum set might be good for her, actually.

But tonight, among the couples and the smiling Santas…

“I’d like to see the lights.”

“Down the street?”

Saya nods. “I – I love the decorations. They look pretty, and make me happy, and I can’t stop thinking about how nice the bakery would look if we did it up like that.”

“That sounds really nice!”

Saya bites her lip again. “Are you sure?”

Tae snorts. “Saya, I like lights, too. It’s Christmas – it’s incredibly pretty around.”

“...well, of course...”

Tae rolls her eyes, taking Saya’s hand again. “Lesson number one in being me: happiness is contagious. When you’re happy, your friends will probably be happy, too. So why not share the happiness around and do what you like?”

“...that’s a good lesson, Tae-sensei.”

“I like that,” Tae says. “Sensei...”

Saya laughs, bumping up against her. “Why, do you have a thing for it?”

“I don’t know.” And there it is – for just a moment, Tae’s voice wobbles. “Maybe.”

Saya grins. She’s so, so happy.

It’s still windy – it’s not the best night for walking, Saya will admit, though her ponytail does indeed keep her hair from getting in her face too much. But Tae is warm, and the hazy, multicoloured lights surrounding them can’t help but transport Saya into a place not quite where she came from. 

It’s really something, this Christmas.

“By the way...”

“Yes?” Saya murmurs.

“I think everyone in Poppin’ Party knows that our path forward isn’t necessarily gonna be simple. But the whole reason we formed was to be able to bring joy to people, and make people realise how wonderful the little things in life are. If we had to give up our own happiness for that, well, it wouldn’t be Poppin’ Party.”

“...yeah. That makes sense,” Saya whispers.

“I do love you, also.”

Saya chuckles. “Y-yeah. Ahh, it’s not like me to get so easily embarrassed… you really do something to me!” Tae chuckles too. “But, uh… I think that’s because I love you, too.”

It’s nice. Saya’s always liked to think that she doesn’t need a lot to be happy.

But being with Tae here, right now, gazing up at the most gorgeous Christmas Tree she’s ever seen…

It sure feels like a lot to her.


End file.
